His Damn Doctor
by Bored and Lazy
Summary: Owen comes to some realisations about Ianto - probably a bit OOC!


**Owen comes to some realisations about Ianto - probably a bit OOC! Spoilers up to and including Greeks Bearing Gifts. Some swearing but it is Owen!  
****Disclaimer - I don't own any of this!**

His Damn Doctor

The horrifying discovery of the cyberwomen in the Hub had hit everybody hard. Down in the Autopsy Bay I was seething quietly. Not only had Teaboy hidden a damn cyberwomen inside Torchwood 3 but he had then had the cheek to blame us for his stupid mistakes! Jack sent us home as soon as it was over – he didn't even ask us what we thought should happen. The next morning we had a short meeting in the Boardroom to discuss what we thought should happen. I thought retcon or shooting him – the cybermen brought down Torchwood 1 and if Ianto had got his way then they would have taken us down as well! Gwen thought that he should be retconned so he could enjoy a 'nice normal life' but Tosh thought he should be forgiven and given another choice. Eventually, after Tosh and Jack had explained the 'difficulties' with wiping his memories of the last few years from his memories they decided that he would go on probation, then come back to work – after clearing up the mess his 'girlfriend' had made.

After he came back I went on ignoring him – at least I tried. But if he was there then I dropped a more hurtful and cutting remark then I would have before. My comments ranged far and wide from derogatory mentions of Lisa to dismissive ones about how screwed up Torchwood 1 had been. I didn't hold anything back, and nothing was too far for me. I thought he deserved it. To me it was a sort of punishment as I felt he had got no punishment because Jack wanted to shag him. He still did everything for me – did more. My coffee was still there just the way I like it, the particularly boring paperwork that I couldn't be bothered with was still completed, everything was neatly filed away and the autopsy bay was still sparkling when I finally stumbled into work.

After the Brecon Beacons I am afraid to say I gave him a quick once over and quickly moved on to check Tosh and Gwen and to stop the bleeding for the villagers. I don't know how he managed to hide what had happened. It was only after the catastrophe with Mary and Tosh that we knew how much pain he was in. Tosh had been in shock and afterwards, had tried to forget about it completely – not that I blame her at all. After this though she told me what he had said – _Can't imagine a time when this isn't everything. A pain so constant, like my stomach's full of rats. Feels like this is all I am now, there isn't an inch of me that doesn't hurt_. I couldn't believe it when she told me that. He'd been carrying on like normal – even with the same polite butler smile. That was when she asked me what his injuries had been like after the incident with the cannibals I was confused – and I told her so. That was the first time I saw how close they were. Tosh would have made a good mother, probably one with claws and she had obviously chosen Ianto to protect.

She sat me down and told me everything that had happened in the house. The fact that he'd head butted the cannibal so she could run. The remarks about 'tenderising' the meat. The baseball bat the cannibal had been holding. The injuries that poor Ianto had withstood while Tosh had been there would have been enough to make me worried but adding on the taunting about tenderising I was definitely apprehensive about what his injuries were like and what would happen to me once Jack found out.

I have to admit that I have a great admiration for teaboy's stoicism. He had managed to hide these injuries, as well as the psychological pain from Canary Wharf and, more recently, Lisa's death. Somehow he had managed to carry on. I got Tosh to dig up all the remnants she could find of Ianto's medical file. Suspected childhood beatings, known childhood psychological traumas, suspected self-harm and self destroying habits along with anorexic tendencies when he felt out of control. When I finally dragged the Teaboy's arse down to medical bay I discovered how badly I had screwed up. He was severely underweight, sleep deprived and his body was so mashed it was a wonder that he could stand up, let alone function without showing any indication of pain whatsoever.

Jack's dressing down about this was what I had suspected all along. A shouted 'HOW DARE YOU' and then a Dad speech about how disappointed he was in me. What surprised me (and probably him) was how disappointed I was in myself. I'm his damn doctor! I should have noticed all these things – I should have got Tosh to dig up his folder sooner... I especially shouldn't have victimised him for Lisa's death as I know I would have done exactly the same as he did for Katie. That didn't mean I was going to go all gooey eyed over him like Gwen had done when she heard about his situation – not least because the looks he gave her looked like they would burn right through her! I would treat him like I had treated him before we discovered Lisa. Before everything had gone completely done the shit hole. I tried to thank him more, tried to do more of my paperwork and, when I remember, I cleaned up the worst messes. More importantly I tried to change my sarcastic comments from hurtful to joking. I'm not sure I always succeeded and I was definitely over the line a couple of times but... I tried. About this time I realised something. Jack had punished him - by making him continue and making him carry on with the memories of the bad days, the memories of the two people he inadvertently killed. With this realisation I tried to make sure we were a team instead of a group of people who worked together. even the Teaboy.


End file.
